5 Couples on What It Takes to Stay Married While Running Some of America's Fastest-Growing Companies

--In conversation with Christine Lagorio-Chafkin

You two have worked together for decades--so long that other couples who are also business partners come to you and ask: How do you do it?

Norm I always say: One person has to be more forgiving. It's her.

Elaine I attribute our success to the fact neither of us wanted to get divorced on the same day. But seriously, we each took care of different things and didn't step on the other's toes. I think the main thing is respect. Respect and trust that the other person would not do anything to destroy our marriage--or our business.

Did you set boundaries?

Elaine Yes and no. We lived where we worked. The offices were on the third floor, we lived on the fourth. At the beginning, I said, "There's no discussing business up here."

Norm There were no computers, no nothing. Computers were huge then, so that part made sense.

Elaine That lasted precisely one evening. Every night, we'd go upstairs, and I would say, "Oh, my god, I have to tell you what happened today!" And he would say, "Well, I gotta tell you what happened today!"

You didn't always work together. Elaine, you stayed at home when your kids were little. Did that inform your dynamic when it came to the business?

Elaine We learned a trick from parenting: Never fight in front of your children.

Norm There were glass walls in our office. But inside our office, we had a bathroom. So any time we both walked into the bathroom at the same time, everybody on the floor knew that we were going to have a "discussion."

Elaine At home, we used to shut ourselves in the bathroom too. It's just where we fight. There are no windows. It's a nice, small, safe space. One day at the office, we went into the bathroom and I said to Norman, "We can have only one culture in this company, and it's going to be mine. Now you've got to come along with it, because otherwise these tough guys in the warehouse are not going to believe in it." And he did. And that's how the company grew.

Norm I was really "It's my way or the highway." I had to learn to live with the idea that I'm not always right. Although I think I am.

Elaine His management style leaves a lot to be desired. No offense, Norman.

Norm No offense taken!

Elaine I'm his biggest fan and his worst critic. My therapist helped me realize I was actually the only person who took him on.

Norm It took both of us to say, we are two entirely different people--and that's OK. The main thing is respect.